Rules and Regulations

23 weeks…

In every pregnancy there are things you are expected to give up- alcohol, deli meat, shellfish, smoking…And this is no different in a gestational surrogate pregnancy. That being said, when you commit to carrying a baby for someone else, you are often contractually bound to ‘rules and regulations‘ most people wouldn’t think about. Here are a few of the major ones…

• No travel to any states/countries where the mosquitoes can carry Zika. This is a good rule of thumb for any pregnant woman, but as a GC, it is mandatory. Prior to embryo transfer, a trip to one of those locations will land you in 6-month quarantine, potentially delaying the process (as I know from experience).
• No NEW tattoos (or piercings). Like the Zika one, this is a solid rule for any pregnant woman. Also, like the Zika rule, getting one prior to transfer will result in the big Q for 6 months (and getting one during is absolutely not allowed AT ALL).
• Lifting weights. There is a caveat to this one. The primary restriction comes on the day of the embryo transfer and typically remains in effect until the 10-12 week mark. After that it loosens up a bit as long as there are no obvious complications with the pregnancy. In the case with this pregnancy, immediately post transfer I was instructed not to lift more than 10lbs for at least 10 weeks (and preferably nothing at all for the first 48 hours while I was on complete bed rest).
• S E X. Yep. You read that right. Like lifting, there are temporary restrictions on sex throughout the GC process. Prior to the transfer, while you are off birth control and your body is primed for pregnancy, sex is a big NO! Could you imagine going in for the transfer only to find out you are already pregnant?! Oops! Say it with me, folks:  ‘Breach. Of. Contract.’ You are also asked to refrain for the first 10 weeks after transfer.
• No move outside of the county/state. This one is VERY important as different counties/states have different rules and laws on surrogate/GC pregnancy (to the extent that in some states it is actually ILLEGAL: I’m talking about you, Michigan). Because the legal pre-birth order paperwork must be drawn up relative to the county you reside, it is imperative that a move during the pregnancy does NOT occur.

There are other requests/lifestyle changes/rules/regulations that can be made by the intended parents and discussed with the GC prior to a signed, executed agreement. As with the ones I outlined here, anything that goes into the final contract is settled upon by both sides and their attorneys. While some of the above conditions may seem extreme, the contract is not entered into lightly, and certainly not without complete understanding among all parties. Though it may seem like there is so much to give up, I promise there is so much more to gain. In 16 weeks when I hand this little girl over to her parents, the things I couldn’t/can’t do prior to then will be a distant memory. In the mean-time, stay tuned while my family grows another…