Swipe Right…A Different Kind of Match

Thirteen weeks…

Typically, the first question I get when people find out I am carrying a baby for someone else is if I know the couple- are they family, friends, friends of friends, etc? The short answer is ‘no.’ As a matter of fact, it could be weeks- months even- before you ever meet the couple- the Intended Parents (IP)- in person. So how does this work, then; how do you get paired? My reply: It’s like a dating app.

When you first sign on to be a gestational carrier, you have a phone interview and fill out a lengthy questionnaire, asking anything and everything you would never want to talk about in front of your parents. Personal likes/dislikes, medical/genetic history, family life, drug/alcohol use, beliefs on selective reduction, what type of relationship you want with the family you carry for- no question is off the table. You are also asked to submit photos of yourself, some of just your face, and some full-body…No filters allowed, ladies, so find some good lighting and practice those angles! Everything is cataloged into the agency system, psych evals are conducted on you and your partner, and then the swiping (and courting) commence. Intended parents can scroll through and view potential carriers, and make selections based on physical traits and profile content…See what I mean with the dating app comparison?

A ‘swipe right’ (not REALLY, but just play along, please) can lead to a first date via phone. The intended parents and GC are able to ask each other questions with prompting and assistance from an agency associate. If distance permits and a match seems likely, you can meet in person. Both times I carried, the couple I ended up paired with was actually my second couple…but more on that later.

I should note that the final decision on who you carry for can ultimately be yours. If a family likes you, it is your right to accept or decline. Once a match is official, phone numbers and emails are exchanged so you can freely communicate with your intended parents if you both choose. But the background work, the interview, and the pairing you have gone through so far are just the beginning; some would say the EASY part. Next comes the tedious part, and then the hard part…And I’m not talking about growing a human or two. So hang on, ladies. If I haven’t lost you yet, stay tuned while my family grows another…