Y’all, this morning I am headed to the doctor for my monthly visit and 18 week ultrasound…Eeeeek! For most women/couples, this is the long-awaited appointment where they (can, baby willing) find out the gender of their wee one. Gender reveal, anyone? This is not entirely different when you carry a baby for someone else, though if and how the gender is found out is then a discussion between the carrier and the intended parents, with the final decision obviously made by the intended parents. So what are the options for finding out?
In some cases, genetic testing is done on the embryos prior to transfer. So in addition to the normal grades of the embryos, the clinic also knows if there are certain genetic markers, as well as the genders of each embryo. Now we have a dilemma…The intended parents can actually select (a la Kim K & Chrissy Teigen). If they opt not to, they can ask the clinic at any time, find out via regular ultrasound, or not at all. Many families find out the gender via ultrasound between 18 and 20 weeks if the baby cooperates. When I was pregnant with the twins I previously carried, their dads came to my ultrasound and we all found out together. Prior to the appointment, we each gave our best guesses, annnnnnnd…two boys for the win.
Keeping it secret from the gestational carrier (GC) or intended parents (IP) is also an option. The GC could find out via ultrasound and use the info to help surprise the IP and family/friends at a gender reveal. Or, the IP could find out privately from the ultrasound tech and surprise everyone!
Then there is the good old fashioned method of being surprised at delivery…not for the feint of heart. This option is fantastic for those who like to live on the edge. Just make sure you communicate your intentions with your ultrasound tech so there are no accidental slip-ups.
In a few short hours, this couple will join me remotely to find out if they should think pink or blue for their miracle baby. They insisted we find out together because they think it is only logical and fitting with us truly in ‘this‘ together. I am so lucky that they include me in every step of their journey, because they certainly do not have to. And I am glad to include all of you, so stay tuned while my family grows another….