The whole truth and nothing but the truth…? To tell or not to tell.

20 weeks…

Halfway! EEEEK! I’m shocked at the number of people- women and men- who are brave enough to comment on me being pregnant. Clearly these folks have never asked someone who is NOT actually pregnant (a mistake you only make once, believe me). Of course, once it is determined I am indeed pregnant (far more obvious now), the typical questions follow. When are you due? March 5th. Do you know what you are having? A girl. [Cue requisite, gushing ‘CONGRATS!’] Then: Is that what you wanted? Errrrrr…. Houston, we have a problem. So now do I a) match their excitement, graciously say ‘thank you,’ and continue on with my business, or b) decide to have a little fun, still say ‘thank you,’ and then drop the bomb that the wee one I am growing is not mine?

There is no simple answer here; no answer I use every time. One thing I’ve learned from doing this twice now is that the average person only hears what they want to anyway…And rarely do they actually care about your answer or listen to the entire thing, so why bother with a detailed one? Most often, I just say ‘thank you.’ On the occasions I reply that the baby is not mine, I answer a handful of questions and go on about my day. It is easiest to allow people I will not likely see again to believe the baby is mine to avoid unnecessary, uncomfortable interactions.

Where it becomes tricky, though, is when the person is a ‘regular’, familiar stranger- the kids’ teachers, their friends’ parents, the wait staff at my favorite restaurants, folks at the gym. These are people who will know I was pregnant, realize I gave birth, and notice there is no baby on my hip. With these folks I tend to explain, because answering a few questions up front is much better than confusion and speculation after the fact. Like I said, though, some people don’t listen to the entire answer. When I was pregnant with the twins, I visited one restaurant in particular every week. Many times I explained to the waitress that the baby was not mine. Many times after I delivered she asked me where the baby was while I was out to supper. Eventually I just started making up fun answers.

At the end of the day, I honestly find it easier to share my story with strangers than with people I know. I’ve always been nervous that people will judge, but with someone I don’t know, that judgement only lasts as long as our encounter. I don’t have to listen to their negative opinions and misgivings- should they have any- once we are done talking. And I firmly believe that babies should be celebrated, however they come into the world. The time leading up to their Earthly entrance should be filled with warmth, hope, and positive vibes. That being said, the journey through this pregnancy, and sharing it with you, the electronic world, has been met with nothing but positivity and well wishes. So I will continue to share for as long as you stay tuned while my family grows another…

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